Soolee's Gertrude - T4T

So mate, got a job have we? Feeling like a real functioning member of our little society are we? Yeah, yeah that's nice. Real nice. A bit poetic even. Some might dare to call it inspiring... Not me though. Sucks for you buddy. Work is one of those things that you just have to do and put up with. Nob

We all love to don't we? Have a nice little bitch about someone or something else. Anything to avoid looking in the mirror. In fact i think most people actually aren't capable of not bitching in some way. Nobody can just be happy and live now, instead they choose to poke holes into walls that don't

No dickhead, not soccer goals. Real life goals. Dreams. Aspirations. I think everyone has them in someway. We almost have to have them growing up as parents or teachers are always asking you what you want to do in life. What direction you want to take like, career wise. And for teenagers who have ne

HEY GUYS!!! What the fuck is happening with you today? Cool, don't care. This is the introduction to my book, The 4th Testament. This is of course, the newest version of the bible to exist and therefore the best and most accurate out of any of them ever at any point in human history... ever. And, wh

Have you ever been walking or driving through a town or city and you see in the corner of your eye graffiti'd 200 meters high on a tower, the words "shit dog"? I have mate. I fucking have. It got me wondering though, how the fuck do they get up there for starters? But also, if you're risking your li

KFC also known as Kentucky Fried Chicken is a fast food chain best known for having locations pretty much everywhere that isn't Kentucky. Any town i've been to seems to have a KFC located within it somewhere. Either that or a Chinese takeaway shop. Because i'm Chinese, i'm obviously fucking going wi

Ah yes, world creation. One of my favourite things to talk to a stoned person about. Because "the world is soooo big bro". Or, my personal favourite, "look at all the stars." But if you actually just stop, shut the fuck up for once in your fucking life and think for a minute, you realise that our wo

So mate, you've had a look in ya smoke box only to see that the mothafucka is empty. What do you do in this situation you may be wondering? Well, that's a fucking excellent question mate because it honestly still baffles me from time to time. Like, for the price of a pack of cigarettes now you could

So, i'm sure sometimes you find yourself eating an egg with your mouth and teeth and that, and sometimes you just stop and remember that you are in fact consuming an egg. How do you deal that emotionally? That's what Soolee is here to discuss mate. Hope you are as eggcited as i am about this guys. T

To fully accept the 4th testy into your heart, it's important that we all understand greatness when we happen to be in the presence of it. For example, currently you are in the presence of me. The one and only Soolee Gertrude. That's pretty special mate. Sometimes when someone, or something is great